The Biggest Mistake .

When a man lies, he murders some part of the world.  

Rospo Pallenberg and John Boorman, Excalibur, based on Le Morte d'Arthur by Thomas Malory

Because when a man lies , unconsciously , he killed his own heart , and he killed the faith of people who believe him . And now , it happens to me . I've blurred the truth all this time .  Ok , i don't want to cover things up ,  so i'll tell the whole story here . But before I start , I just want to tell you all . I'm not a two - faced girl . I never told anything bad about people behind their back .

Started in the  beginning of  the first semester . 

I have 3 new 'close' friends . We often played together , and share secrets , etc . Well , we played a game called Truth or Dare . The chosen person have to tell their secrets , or  dared to do something  funny . Well , one of my friend , let's call her A , get her turn and she need to tell the truth . Who's her crush in our school ? and she answered , I  have a crush with 'O' .  Well , the deal in this game is , we can't let other people know about the secret of the people that get the turn for 'truth' . And one day , we had a little fight , Because an unimportant problem . Then , we decided to slow down and had some 'peace' .  Then we were friends , like we used to , but we're not too close now .

Then , another problem happens . One of my friend , let 's call her N , ask me about the problem . Well at first , I don't want to tell her  , but she keep asking ,  so I tell the problem . And oops , i tell A's crush to N . It's a BIG MISTAKE .  I thought she know A's crush , but I'm completely wrong . She never know it ! So I tell her to keep this secret between us . And I know , It's  completely a HUGE mistake .

And the big fight come .

Next morning , A and one of my ex - close friend , let's call her T , are quipping  and disparaging me . And Well , I don't realize what happen .  Then  everything come clear . N asked A , " Do you have a crush with 'o' ?" A was shocked , and she asked N , who tells her . N don't want to tell A , but A force her , so she said it was ME  who told her . A was so mad at me . She told her two bestfriends about the problem .  Her two bestfriends is V and T , my ex - close - friends . Of course , they lose their trust in me , then we become 'enemy' , or sort of . Well , I 'm sad , so I told my other bestfriends ,  'L' , 'R' , and 'Y' . Well , I UNINTENTIONALLY ,  I told them the 'different type' of story .  In my story , accidentally , I told N force me to tell her who's  A's crush . of course , my bestfriends thought N was wrong . So they 'defend' me . this is my SECOND MISTAKE .

Then , I don't know how , 'L' speak with  A about this problem , and then she and my other bestfriend , 'S' , defend A and start humiliating me at twitter and facebook .  Then , A and T decide to call me to the counselling room . Then , N and V were called to , as the witness  .  In the counselling room , we had a deal to 'peace' and forgive each other , but later in twitter , the fire start again  .  Then , R and Y think I told lie too , but they don't make me their enemy .  I don't know who the hell start the fire in twitter , but now , V , N ,R , and Y still friends with me , A said ' she  won't forgive me until I changed ' , S and T start to be friends with me . 

Well , the problem is ..

How will A know I've changed , if  She never talk to me . 

I know , trust is just like a mirror . If it breaks , it can't come back .  But I've changed . I 'm sorry . But for me , the chance never come .  I just want peace and chance . Do I need to wait for miracles ? I'm sorry if I've  lied  but trust me , I never mean it . I never mean to hurt your feelings . I'M SO SO SORRY . Give me a chance .  And let me start something new . please. i'm begging now . I never looked for symphaty . I'm not that kind of girl .  I know I was wrong ,  So I admit it . And I 'll change . I don't care if you sick hearing my blab , but this is my confession . Give me a chance , or keep hating me until the rest of your life , is up to you .  But I've realised everything now . and I'm sorry . thakyou .